WomanOnWheels.ca

Jesus is alive, and ...

These two houses, side-by-side on Ontario's Highway 7 near Fowler's Corners, have been garnering laughs for many years. The obviously more religious homeowner put "Jesus is Alive" up on his roof. His neighbor countered with "So is Elvis."

Why Little Miss Muffet will never drive a Mazda ...

Why won't she? Because the little devils could crack her fuel tank, that's why.

In the I couldn't make this up if I tried category, Transport Canada is reporting a recall on 10,247 Mazda6 vehicles, model year 2009 and 2010, for a potential fuel leak. According to the recall, pressure can build up in the fuel tank if "a particular type of spider" weaves a web in the evaporative canister vent line, causing a restriction that affects the pressure in the tank. When the canister purges repeatedly, this pressure can crack the gas tank.

To which I say, wouldn't a Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder have been a more logical choice?

 

And the pickup truck wars continue ...

 Y'know, you almost need a program to keep up with the silliness. Last August I reported on the pickup truck wars, when Dodge brought out its heavy-duty truck at 650 lb-ft, and then Ford came out with 735 lb-ft, and then Chevrolet trumped them both with 765.

So Ford went back to the drawing board, recalibrated the engine module, and came up with eight hundred gut-bustin' foot-pounds of torque.

Well, Dodge -- now properly called Ram Truck -- went back to its drawing board and instructed its engineers to get with the program. So now, the Ram Heavy-Duty also puts out eight hundred foot-pounds of torque. And that isn't enough on its own, obviously, so now it can also tow up to 22,700 pounds.

Twenty-two thousand and seven hundred pounds. That's the equivalent of towing more than five Dodge Grand Caravans. Should you, for whatever reason, ever feel the need to tow five Dodge Grand Caravans.

The "upfitted" 800-lb-ft Ram Heavy Duty Diesel will bear a crest on the tailgate that reads, "High Output Cummins," just so the world knows what kind of a man you are.

Frankly, I think a picture of a measuring tape would be far more appropriate ...

And the rest just like being lost ...

Press release today: a company that provides information for navigation systems did a survey and found that 70% of U.S. drivers prefer to have the most current road locations in their systems at all times.

What I'd like to know is ... who on earth wouldn't?

Fast, friendly self-service ...

My better other half needed some license plates, so rather than wait in line at the real-live-person bureau, I waited in line instead to use the the self-serve computer kiosk in the mall.

It's the friendliest place on earth, y'know. Because if you look at the notice sent out by the Ministry of Transportation -- and at the sign on the kiosk -- you'll find that if you visit the web site, or if you punch numbers into a big metal box at the mall, it won't just be fast and easy, it will be friendly, too!

Lemon-Aid: A few too many acidic complaints?

A little while ago, Iinterviewed Phil Edmonston, author of the popular Lemon-Aid books that outline all that can go wrong with specific vehicle models. In the process, I received his latest book. While I'd skimmed it prior to the interview, I finally sat down and read it in depth.

What's wrong with these cars? Plenty, and most of it sounds legit. Edmonston gets his information from manufacturer bulletins, NHTSA reports, and from letters from readers who are (presumably) not happy with their vehicles. For each model, Edmonston lists his own ratings, the vehicle's strengths and weaknesses, and then a "Safety Summary" that includes reader complaints. Among them, you'll find gems like the ones below. Having worked in the service department of car dealerships for many years, I can assure you that Edmonston isn't making these up. That said, while they're few and far between compared to the number of complaints that seem legitimate, I really don't see why these are counted as black eyes against the vehicle:

"If a passenger's head is resting near the door lock  button when the door is unlocked, the force of the spring could cause injury."

Manufacturers won't cover rodent damage as warranty.

Buffeting when the rear window is opened is an "aerodynamics flaw."

In crosswinds, vehicle veers left and right.

"Outside rearview mirrors don't show the rear bumper area when backing up."

Windows aren't adequately cleaned off when raised and lowered. (Folks, they're window channels, not squeegees!)

Emergency trunk release doesn't glow in the dark because it doesn't receive enough sunlight. (Edmonston notes that the owner climbed into the trunk to check it. I suppose the owner would be happier with a constantly-live wire and a battery-draining light in there.)

"While parking my car in my garage, I had put it in Park and took my foot off the brake pedal, my 2007 Honda Accord sedan lunged forward hitting my drywall, solar water heater, washer and dryer, then it jumped back and stopped. I was so stunned as I didn't know what was happening here. Instantly the car decided to go in Reverse at an accelerated rate down the hill of my driveway hitting the concrete side of my neighbor's garage, their car, and bounced forward up the hill to hit my house again and stopped at the crest of the hill." (Yes, it could be legit. But it's definitely straining my credibility meter.)

A check light comes on if the gas cap isn't tightened three clicks.

Expensive xenon headlamps are enticing to thieves.

Annoying beep when the seatbelt isn't buckled.

LED taillights blur the vision of drivers behind the car.

Wind can blow the doors shut.

Convertibles have a rear quarter blind spot.

If the rear seats are folded down to carry more cargo, the front seats can't be moved backwards.

Steering wheel gets too hot in direct sunlight.

Rocks break windshields.

"Fire may ignite around the fuel filler nozzle." (So exactly what is located there that would spark?)

And my favorite, a complaint against Volvo: "Airbag sensors are housed in the wheel rims." This owner came to this conclusion when he scrubbed two tires against the curb and the airbags deployed. Ah, those tricky Swedes.

 

 

You drive what?

If you haven't seen the website You Drive What?, then click away and get ready to laugh. I just hope your car isn't one of these.

The lawsuits: It was just a matter of time

So the sharks are circling: a pair of New York law firms have started a class action suit against Toyota for the recalls on its vehicles. They're trying to cover everyone in the U.S. who owns a vehicle affected by the recall (which doesn't necessarily mean it's affected by the primary problem of the sticking accelerator pedal, of course).

The lawsuit contends that the owners of these vehicles lost the use of them, and also sustained, among other things, economic losses and severe emotional distress.

The mind just ... well, it boggles.

You keep thinking those good thoughts, sir ...

This is an actual press release, sent out today on a newswire. The emphasis is mine:

(MMD Newswire) November 18, 2009 -- $100,000 is being offered as a commission to anyone who can find a buyer for President Obama's previously driven Chrysler 300C. The current owner of this historical car, Tim O'Boyle of Berkeley, IL purchased it from Park Plaza Dodge in Forest Park, IL where President Obama first took delivery. Obama drove this car for 3 years and over 19,000 miles.

O'Boyle is confident that somewhere in the world there is a collector that would love to own this piece of American History for only $1,000,000 USD.

I couldn't make this up if I tried ...

Press release from today's news wire:

Lynch Hummer (Chesterfield, Missouri), seven times the world's number-one Hummer dealer, has announced the opening of the world's first combined Hummer and firearms dealership. Jim Lynch has turned his $5.7 million Hummer facility in this upscale St. Louis suburb into every shooting enthusiast's must-visit attraction.

"It is a natural fit," says Jim. "Our customers enjoy outdoor sports and the firearms have been a big hit with our Hummer owners."

I couldn't make this up if I tried ...

I just came back from an event in the Anza-Borrego Desert State Park in California, where I was driving the new Ford Raptor pickup truck.

The park is hugely popular with off-road fans, and there are trails cut all through it specifically for that purpose. To test the new trucks, we raced across a course -- as high as 75 mph in my case, and some went faster. We plowed through sand dunes and climbed hills. We watched other park users on ATVs and dirt bikes racing across the desert floor. You must stay on the trails, but beyond that, you can do pretty much whatever you like.

But one problem I had was that the course was oddly marked. The signs that would normally indicate a left or right turn well in advance were tied to the small bushes that we were driving around. The reason? The Ford team couldn't pound stakes into the ground to hold the signs.

Yes, even though we could do whatever speed we wanted, run our trucks across the dunes, or climb the same hill however many times we wanted, putting up a stake on that very same trail (and then, of course, taking it home afterwards) would have required applying for an environmental assessment, waiting two weeks for the assessment to be done, and then getting all the proper paperwork in order. For a two-inch-wide, six-inch-deep hole in the middle of nowhere.

Press release I couldn't finish reading ...

Chinese Astronauts Choose Volvo S80L ...

I couldn't make this up if I tried ...

 Today's press release that I couldn't finish reading:

Only the very best bulls for Audi interiors: Making a prestige German car calls for an obsession for attention to detail with Audi now only selecting leather from bulls rather than cows to achieve the required upholstery standards ...