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Lowered with Eibach springs, and with American Racing wheels.

Corporate-speak translation: Nissan

In the news: Nissan is offering buyout packages to employees at its plants in Smyrna and Decherd, Tennessee. The company cites rising fuel prices and poor sales of its full-size trucks and SUVs, and is eliminating an entire shift of its truck assembly facility.

The employees will be offered lump sums, plus medical and car purchase benefits.

Said a senior vice-president, "We feel this program is a good opportunity for employees wanting to transition to another phase in life. This will provide many with the financial means to take a step they otherwise might not have been able to take."

Translation: Nobody likes working on an assembly line, but when you've got mouths at home to feed and there's only one major employer in town, well, This Is Your Life.

Ummm ... okay ...

Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) Canada has sent out a message to everyone for this upcoming holiday weekend: don't drive when you're impaired.

But this sentence in the press release, a quote from the association's national president, raised an eyebrow:

"We don't want any unnecessary crashes this holiday..."

Fair enough. But pray tell, have any of you out there ever had a necessary car crash? 

The jaw drops ...

In the news today: Ontario's Alcohol and Gaming Commission is investigating whether staff at a club might have played a part in a recent crash that killed three young men when the driver put an Audi S4 into a river. Police have stated that alcohol and speed were factors in the crash.

The 20-year-old driver had several traffic charges already on his record. The sole survivor of the crash said that he was praised by his friends for driving the S4 at high speed, and that she reached over and turned up the already-loud stereo when her favorite song came on. According to newspaper reports, the Audi S4 belonged not to the driver, but to the driver's parents.

According to an article in the Toronto Star, the father now says that, "In retrospect, it is obvious I would've wanted the Joe Club to take away the keys or stop serving..." But while he doesn't think closing a bar or restaurant is the solution, according to the story, he does support "zero blood (alcohol) level for new drivers until (age) 21-25, and zero tolerance (for) speeding infractions to age 21. In both those cases I feel the licence should be revoked and every kid will really think before drinking or speeding when driving," he said.

Let's do the math.

The driver was 20 years old.

According to this article, he had so many speeding violations that he was in danger of losing his driver's license.

And yet his father apparently lent his son a 340-horsepower vehicle under circumstances that he now says should have been grounds for revoking the young man's license, with zero tolerance.

I don't get it. I simply don't. I wonder how much money the lawsuit will initially name...

Idle thoughts ...

Last week's surreal moment: sitting at a Ford press event, listening to a presentation on the company's upcoming EcoBoost engines, hybrids, small-car offerings and other important technologies that will reduce the company's overall fuel economy rating and improve its vehicles' emissions ... while the four diesel buses that brought all of the journalists to the event sat outside for three hours, idling, with the air conditioning on.

I learned how to drive!

That's me, at the wheel of a Model T Ford that I'd just learned how to drive. Okay, I could use a bit more time behind the wheel to really be proficient, but I managed to go up and down that field a number of times without stalling it, hitting anything, or turning my instructor's hair white, which I think is quite an accomplishment.

I did this at the T Party, and if you're anywhere near Richmond, Indiana from now until July 26, get yourself there. This year marks the 100th anniversary of the Model T, and there are some 900 at the event, which is said to be the largest gathering of the cars anywhere since they originally left the factory.

The car I'm driving belongs to The Henry Ford and is used to shuttle visitors at the museum; it's an authentic replica built by Ford for the company's 100th anniversary.

The T was simple to drive compared to many vehicles of its day, but it requires some coordination and several moves that aren't familiar to the modern driver. Levers on the steering wheel control the spark advance and the throttle, while you use pedals for the gear (high or low), reverse and brake. On older ones, you crank it to start, but this T was equipped with an electric starter.

First, the handbrake must be all the way back, the spark advance all the way up, and the throttle halfway down. Crank it or push the starter button, and when it catches, retard the spark and adjust the throttle. When it's idling nicely, you push the handbrake halfway ahead and press the clutch pedal right to the floor. This is the tough part -- the car starts moving, but you don't take your foot off the clutch. You just drive along.

Once you're up to speed, you put your foot up halfway, push the handbrake all the way ahead, and take your foot off the clutch, and now you're in high gear. I'm told that if you're good at it, you can switch between the two by finding the "sweet spot" halfway on the pedal without the brake lever, but I figured I was lucky just to get it to go ahead.

I'd always wanted a Model T because I thought they were cool; now I want one 'cause I think they're fun. I'll be writing a lot more on this great show, which also included an "air parade" of some ten pre-1930s planes at a nearby airstrip. These T folks know how to have a blast.

Dodge Challenger: Cupholders everywhere

A shot -- no pun intended -- taken of the Challenger with the hood up. We haven't got a clue why Dodge included two dimples in this plastic panel, but we sure found a use for them. When your buddies come over to scratch-n-fart, as buddies do when you open the hood on a Hemi, there's a place to set the drinks so they don't spill. And they are perfectly sized to hold a bottle of beer or, in my case, three fingers of Booker's bourbon.*

Coincidence? Hmmmm.

Other neat thing about the Challenger: Dodge sure got the shape of this one right. Yesterday, two people asked what year the car is, and didn't believe that it was brand-new. And this morning, when my husband took it to the coffee shop in a downpour, someone pulled up beside him at the light and yelled, "You're not supposed to be driving a classic in the rain!"

*Disclaimer: WomanOnWheels does not condone drinking and driving. If you're going to drink, don't drive; assign a designated driver or take a taxi. Always operate your vehicle in a safe and responsible manner. Product may not be exactly as shown; Challenger is packaged by weight, not volume, and contents may have settled during shipping. Misuse may result in serious injury or death. Tag is not to be removed except by the consumer after purchase. And no animals were harmed in the making of this website.

In my driveway today: the Challenger

No, it's not a press car; it's a cash-on-the-barrel, pink-slip-in-the-wallet 2008 Dodge Challenger SRT8, which arrived today. It belongs to my husband, who is absolutely thrilled with it. He's already taken the stripes off the hood; lowered suspension, new wheels and a few other changes will follow shortly. He simply can't leave anything alone.

Plant a tree: It's the new thing to do

Volkswagen has announced that it will build a new plant near Chattanooga, Tennessee, to produce a midsize sedan designed for the North American market.

From the press release: Environmental responsibility is a core value of the Volkswagen Group ... As an expression of this shared commitment, the state of Tennessee, Volkswagen and Chattanooga-area organizations are partnering to distribute two saplings for every tree displaced by the project. The new trees will be planted by local school children.

The cockles of my heart are warm enough to toast bread right now. Call me a cynic (go ahead, I'll wait), but we're building a manufacturing facility to produce 150,000 gasoline-burning vehicles each year, obviously knocking down some forests to do so, and schoolchildren putting in some saplings is going to make it all better? Frankly, I'm getting a little tired of carbon credits and tree plantings and all the other "feel-good" stuff that tries to make industry look much better than it is. As far as I'm concerned, "green" is the color of my living room walls, and "greening" is not a word. I think I'd have more respect for them if they just said look, it's business, it's going to affect the environment but it's the best we can do. Honesty is always the best policy.

Safety: Start at the beginning

In the news: Volvo has announced a new goal. The Swedish automaker is aiming for "zero accidents" and is determined that by 2020, "no one should be killed or injured in a Volvo."

A lofty if impossible goal, which the company is addressing by analyzing data and outfitting its vehicles with numerous safety features, including those that monitor the driver's drowsiness, the distance to the vehicle up ahead, and devices that eventually could auto-brake and auto-steer around other vehicles or pedestrians.

To its credit, Volvo says that it follows the principle that "the driver should be in command", and that the various devices are only assistants. But the flaw I see is that Volvo is giving the driver far too much credit. The only way absolutely no one will be killed or injured in a Volvo is if absolutely no one is ever actually in a Volvo.

Rather than cars that steer and brake themselves, here's what I'd like to see: people who drive the cars. That means no cell phones, no coffee cups, no hamburgers, no text-messaging. It means far better driving tests than we presently use to determine if someone's safe enough to be behind the wheel. It means periodic testing, and more access to skid schools and defensive driving courses. And it means people using the gray matter between their ears as more than just stuffing in their skulls.

Here in Ontario, three young men were killed in a single-car crash when their Audi S4 -- actually, an S4 belonging to the father of the 20-year-old driver -- went through a guardrail and plunged into a river. Between them, the three -- two of them 20 years old, one 19 -- had fifteen traffic charges over a three-year period. The lone survivor of the crash has said they had all consumed alcohol, and when the driver sped up, one of the passengers told him that was "great driving". The survivor admitted to turning up the already-loud stereo just before the crash.

As they say, ya can't fix dumb. I admire Volvo's ideal; I don't want to see anyone die in a car crash. But sometimes, even the most sophisticated vehicle simply can't save people from themselves.

You Can, But You Shouldn't

Somewhere in the bowels of Fiat, a designer came up with the Multipla, and even more unbelievably, someone thought it would be a good idea to build it. You really have to admire something that can make an Aztek look good.

Europe: Observations and comments

I've just returned from a "busman's holiday" in Munich, where I was supposed to be on vacation. But that never happens, of course, because there is always a story around the corner.

Unlike many of my journalist colleagues, I don't travel much outside of my own continent, and this was only my second trip to Europe, which is probably why I was so wide-eyed. It'll all make its way into a newspaper story soon enough, but here are some of my observations:

- Unlike here, diesel is still cheaper than gasoline in Europe, but that's all relative. Keep in mind that a Euro was about $1.50 Canadian at the time when you look at the prices in the photo. Even so, I saw more large cars than I expected in Munich, which is probably due to that city's relative wealth. But small vehicles still make up the majority, including delivery vehicles which are far more compact than the big trucks we use in the cities here. The Ford Transit Connect can't get here fast enough.

- Munich drivers drive. They don't talk on cell phones, drink coffee, eat hamburgers, put on makeup, read the newspaper or play with the stereo when they're piloting cars. In nine days, I saw two -- count 'em, two -- drivers talking into phones. Both of them were parking at the time, and both of them did a terrible job of it. I also didn't see any collisions, didn't see any gridlock-blocked intersections, didn't see anyone run a red light, and saw very few cars with any dents in them. Are European drivers perfect? Of course not. But from what I saw, they're sure a hell of a lot better than what we have over here.

- The cops drive BMWs and Mercedes. With stick shifts, if the model comes with one. As do the taxi drivers.

- Bicycles aren't children's toys or exercise machines, they are serious transportation. That picture at the top is of one of the myriad bicycle lanes in the city. Where the streets are large enough, there are three separate areas: cars on the asphalt, bicycles on a paved section of the sidewalk nearest to the road, and pedestrians on the inside of the sidewalk. (If you forget while walking and meander onto the bike lane, be prepared for the ringing bells; they don't stop for you or go around, because it's your responsibility to move.) On the largest streets, there's an electric tram right-of-way in the centre as well. No doubt because they're respected as road users, cyclists obey the rules: they stop for red lights, they stay off the pedestrian area, and they don't drive wherever it suits them -- from sidewalk to curb to turn lane to sidewalk -- as cyclists so often do here. Each bicycle has a light and a bell, and they use them.

- Germans may grumble about their public transit system, but by North American standards, it's incredible, with above-ground and underground city trains, electric trams, buses, and a train system that connects cities across the country. I got off the plane, got onto a train in the airport, and was in the city center thirty minutes later, at a cost of nine Euros. Try doing that from Pearson International to Union Station in Toronto, which is the equivalent; you're looking at two subway trains and a bus.

- Urban density also plays a part; I didn't see any single-family houses anywhere in the city center. Apartment buildings have stores and offices on their lower floors. People walk. Nowhere, even on the smallest side alleys, was I ever the only person on the street.

- And no wonder they walk. I ordered a salad in a restaurant; it turned out to be a dozen slices of sausage, topped with onions, dressing, and half a lettuce leaf, and it came with a giant pretzel. In for a penny, as they say, and of course I ordered a good German beer alongside. Hey, I wasn't driving.

Corporate-Speak Translation: Toyota

In the news: Toyota is going to build the Prius at a new plant in Mississippi (the first time it's been built in North America), the Highlander is moving to a facility in Indiana, and the Tundra pickup truck, currently built in two U.S. plants, will be moving into one. The company will also temporarily stop making both the Tundra and the Sequoia from August until November, in light of the fact that nobody wants them anymore.

A spokesman for the company said it was unfortunate that the trucks had to be temporarily discontinued, but the new production mix is proof of Toyota's commitment to North American production. And then he said, "By using this downturn as an opportunity to develop team members and improve our operations, we hope to emerge even stronger."

Translation: Yes, we use the silly "team members" term too. And if you're not crazy about being laid off or switched between jobs or between plants, you're just not a team player.

You Can, But You Shouldn't ...