Okay. So Dodge came out with its Heavy Duty pickup truck, at 650 lb-ft of torque. So Ford brought out its Super Duty, at 735 lb-ft of torque. Insert manly grunt here.
Then Chevrolet brought out its Heavy Duty -- 765 gut-bustin' foot-pounds of torque. Take that, Dodge and Ford.
But Ford ain't rolling over and showing its belly. So in today's news, the F-Series Super Duty will now make eight hundred foot-pounds of torque, and if you were unfortunate enough to buy your truck at that measly 735, you can take it into your dealer for a free upgrade to the powertrain module so you will have eight hundred foot-pounds of torque. That's a real man's torque number there, boy howdy, I'll tell ya.
Now, I was always under the impression that if you needed to move something that actually required 800 lb-ft of torque, you were using something bigger than a pickup truck. Like maybe a five-ton, or a bulldozer. But who knows? Maybe there are guys out there who really are pulling out sequoias by their roots, or moving their houses from one end of the property to the other, and all that torque is exactly what they need.
Or maybe there are just a few truck owners out there who need those extra foot-pounds as a substitute for extra inches. But that's just me thinking out loud, because I really don't get this whole peni ... er, torque war.
Of course, that could be because, while I own a pickup truck, I've never pulled up at a light beside another female pickup truck driver and yelled over, "Hey, girl, my box is bigger than yours!"