Jil McIntosh: Rude, Lewd & Tattooed

An open letter to Rick Perry, "Man of Faith" ...

Dear Mr. Perry,

I saw the anti-gay, pro-religion video you made for your presidential campaign. You certainly do tell it like it is. So perhaps you will indulge me while I do the same.

Thanks to various marriages, divorces and remarriages - all of them good heterosexual church weddings - I have brothers and sisters who are not related to each other. In fact, I have siblings I have never met. My father was so dedicated to the faith that he left his youngest daughter in a string of foster homes and state institutions while he went out to bring others to his savior. My little sister is dead now. She turned to alcohol and drugs to get through it, and contracted AIDS through needles. I only hope her daughter can be strong enough now to deal with it.

When I was a child, I was sexually assaulted on a regular basis by a man who hated gays and thought highly of the Bible.

My friend's daughter is the only child in her classroom who is still living with both of her parents.

My memory isn't always as sharp as it used to be. So remind me again: exactly how are a minority of men and women who love others of their own sex going to destroy "family values"? I seem to have forgotten. 

Marriage: So whose definition do we uphold?

It's still not in the clear, but gay marriage has won a battle with the overturning of California's Proposition 8, which banned nuptials between those of the same sex. As if it's anybody's business what shape the genitals are, save for the folks directly involved.

Jim Campbell, one of the lawyers defending Prop 8 stated, "In America, we should uphold and respect the right of people to make policy changes through the democratic process, especially changes that do nothing more than uphold the definition of marriage that has existed since the founding of this country and beyond."

So exactly which definition would that be, Mr. Campbell? Would those be marriages arranged by wealthy families solely to keep their money and their honor where they could see them?

Would you be defining same-race-only marriage, which was the law -- the law -- when I was born in the 1950s in the South? Or perhaps would you be defining "jumping the broom," a marriage of sorts permitted to slaves by their owners? And should we get into the definition of marriage banned between those of differing religions?

Would you be defining it as a 12-year-old girl married off by her parents, as could legally happen in some states right up until the 1930s?

Would you be defining the laws that didn't allow married women to own property, have their own credit, and who could not press charges against their husbands for sexual assault?

Are you defining religious marriage, civil marriage, or common-law marriage?

And most importantly, are you defining marriages between those who have been married before? Because Jesus, as you know, forbade divorce and remarriage, in his own words. It's right there in the Bible, sir. And since you are representing the Alliance Defense Fund, a Christian-based organization, what does your dictionary have to say about that?

The loonies gain a victory again ...

Maine failed to legalize gay marriage in a vote earlier this week. And of course, the loonies came out of the woodwork:

"Every time the citizens have voted on marriage, they have always sided with natural marriage," said Mathew Staver, founder of Liberty Counsel, a Florida-based Christian legal group.

Natural marriage? Goodness. Who ever expected that dressing a dozen of your friends in ugly matching dresses, pushing a piece of cake into your beloved's face, compiling a list of expensive gifts for your relatives to buy for you, dropping $1,000 on a dress you'll wear just once, getting plastered with your buddies the night before, and bankrupting your parents for the sake of a party is natural?

California's Prop 8: So who exactly was being harmed?

So California has voted, and gay marriage is now illegal. I'm always amazed how far people will go to meddle with matters that have nothing to do with them.

Religious conservatives argue that homosexuality shouldn't be protected, because it's a choice. Hmmm. Hands up, everyone of you straight people who reached puberty, sat down, and said, "Straight or gay? Straight or gay? I've got to pick one ... which one should it be?" And yet, while homosexuality doesn't appear to be a choice, religion is. You can be born into a religious family, and grow up with its symbols and rituals, but ultimately, you choose the religion you follow. And although religion is a choice, it's also legally protected.

Religious conservatives argue that because homosexuals can't procreate, they must recruit. Hmmm. I've had Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons come to my door asking me to convert, but so far, the Drag Queen Convention has failed to ring my doorbell. Every church in my neighborhood has a sign outside asking me -- as a non-member of that faith -- to come inside and see what it has to offer to me. So far, I've yet to see a similar request outside a gay bar.

Religious conservatives argue that marriage is for procreation, and so gays don't qualify. Hmmm. I got married after I had myself sterilized, and no one said I couldn't. And I've seen people get married when they're in their 60s, 70s, 80s and even 90s. I'm guessing these folks won't be needing any baby showers anytime soon.

Religious conservatives don't want gays to marry because then they won't have exclusive use of the term. It's all about being special, being exclusive, being holier-than-thou. Gay marriage doesn't hurt anything on a straight person except his or her sensibilities. And that's not a good enough reason.

We've had gay marriage here in Canada for a while now, and you know what? Nothing that the hand-wringers predicted ever happened. We didn't get plagues of locusts, we didn't have blood running in the streets (save for that thanks to the gay-bashers who, I'm determined, are more afraid of their own emotions than they are of the gay people they attack), and the sun still rises in the morning and the moon hasn't fallen out of the sky. In fact, very few people even think about it anymore; it's become a non-issue. All that really happened was that a number of bridal shops, bakeries and florists made some extra money, a lot of people got to live their lives as they chose, and Canada proved that human rights mean rights for all humans, no matter whose nose it puts out of joint.