Jil McIntosh: Rude, Lewd & Tattooed

People, please ... you are not jealous!

As if I don't grind my teeth to powder enough over people who think "it's" is a possessive (no, the cat ate it's dinner is not correct), or who throw in apostrophes where they don't belong (no, they're selling apple's is not correct), there's a new stranger in town: jealous.

"Hey, you have a nice car! I'm jealous!"

"You went on a nice vacation! I'm jealous!"

No, you are not. You are envious.

If someone has something that you would like to have, or goes somewhere that you would like to go, you feel envy, not jealousy. 

You are jealous when you have something, and you're afraid that someone might take it away. He's afraid that guy's going to steal his date; he's a jealous boyfriend.

If you looked over at him, and saw him with that gorgeous woman and wished you were in his shoes, you'd be envious of him. She sees you and winks. He's jealous. It takes two to create envy (one to have something, the other to envy it), while it takes three to be jealous.

Yes, there is a difference. Now just don't get me started on alot, ahold, and alright.

I give up ...

I noticed a television commercial today for the show American Pickers.

What are the fellows out to find?

Chotskies.

Really. That's what was written on the screen, in great big letters.

Maybe, if they're lucky, the next hoarder they meet will give them a good price on a bloody dictionary. Hell, I always have to look it up to remember how many letters to throw in (for the record, it's tchotchke), but at least I know how NOT to spell it!

Hospitals: More dangerous than we thought

Today's Toronto Star cover story is about a man who was mauled by a bear when he was clearing some land north of Orillia; he is now recovering in the hospital.

Ah, but was he really attacked out in the middle of nowhere? According to the caption on the picture:

Gerald Marois, 47, of Waubaushene, is recovering from the horrific attack in Toronto's Sunnybrook Hospital.

Be careful! It's a jungle in there.

Let's start the new year right ...

Another year is rapidly coming to a close. Here's hoping 2010 is a better one all around.

That includes the written word, and so for 2010, my list of phrases that I hope will shape up in the new year ...

At this point in time. (What's wrong with "now"?)

Raising the bar.

At its best. As in "food at its best." Cute the first time, not so much the 1,596th time.

The car careened back and forth across the road. Please, folks, learn the difference between careen and career.

 

 

Fun with advertising!

I received an advertisement in the mail: the folks at the magazine Border Crossings want me to subscribe.

Why should I? Well, according to the flyer they sent, Border Crossings is renowned for it's in-depth conversations with artists.

Lost in translation ...

I bought a little plastic protective screen that fits over the display on my digital camera. See if you can guess where it's made:

Attach long hours by product that can protect perfectly LCD of digital camera from external impact or dust scar and it is product that always can have preservation status such as new product even if use.

Use and produced highest grade polycarbonate quality of the material to be more stronger and keeps 100% transparency because become UV coating processing work for ultraviolent rays interception.

Use method

1. LCD Panel and surrounding to be attached clearly digital camera with clean cloth.

2. Confirm position of part that wish to attach taking out LCD Panel Guard.

3. Attach on sticking part after remove thin splice vinyl of LCD Panel Guard backside.

4. Establishment is completion if press surrounding firmly once more if attached exactly and remove vinyl of obverse.

You to can be a sign painter twoday

Maybe that's how they spelled it back then ...

Shake head here ...

This came across the wire today. Someone actually got paid to write and post this on a professional news wire:

Innovative, New Shoe Store Offers Solutions for People who's Feet Hurt

My feet feel fine, but my head hurts ...

Shaking my head ...

I just heard an ad for bottled water on the radio: ... it's the most purest water you can buy.