It's mid-November, which means I've already listened to at least a month's worth of people whining that there's a "war on Christmas." You know the drill: store clerks are forced into the horror of saying "Happy Holidays," children in school can mention every other religion's holidays but not this Christian one, city hall can't put up a nativity scene, the Christmas tree has been renamed the holiday tree ...
Give it a bloody break already.
Yes, there was a war on Christmas and on Christians, but you won that one in the 4th century. Right this very minute, of course, you can go to the mall and buy Christmas cards, mail them through the government postal service (and often with a Christmas-themed stamp issued by that government service), put up your Christmas lights, buy Christmas gifts, host a Christmas party, and sing along to your favorite Christmas carol. About the only thing you can't do is escape Christmas, unless of course you turn off your television, stop opening your newspaper, stay away from stores, stop driving, and hide in the cellar until mid-January.
Here, instead, is the reality of whatever "war" you think has been cooked up against you:
We're not doing it. "We" being atheists like me, or those of other faiths. Yes, there will always be a few nutbars among the non-Christians who go over-the-top on it, just as you have the odd looney-tune in your camp too, but they're not the driving force. In reality, it's "your side" that's trying to eliminate the Merry Christmas at the cash registers, under the mistaken premise that it's what "we" want. Here's the reality: we don't give a damn what you say to us. Tell us Merry Christmas, tell us Happy Holidays, tell us to have a nice day. We just want our goods bagged and the correct change returned to us.
Timing is everything. Christmas is one day on the calendar, but someone visiting from another planet would go back and tell his people that Earthlings celebrate this festival for three solid months. I was in a mall in Michigan three days ago, before the U.S. Thanksgiving, and there was Santa talking to the little ones (his "Ice Castle" sponsored by an upcoming animated movie, as well). We don't hate Christmas; we're just very tired of it by the time it finally rolls around. Remember that huge fuss about Shoppers Drug Mart turning off the Christmas music? Don't mistake that for the so-called "war." It's that three months of Jingle Bell Rock is just too damn much.
We're tired of the "we have to tolerate your stuff" schtick. "Oh, but it's okay to celebrate all those other religious holidays!" many people whine. Yes, of course. How many of you can tell me when Ramadan is actually held? What are the dates for Diwali? Can you tell me which Jewish holiday is actually the "big one," rather than the minor Hanukkah festival that many lump in with Christmas? And when was the last time you went to the mall and found yourself surrounded by Eid decorations, and for three months? When another religion's festivals actually do supersede yours - or even warrant a statutory holiday, a privilege still reserved strictly for Christian traditions - let me know.
And remember: Axial tilt is the reason for the season. Put up your Christmas tree, turn on your lights, play the music, bake the mince pies, enjoy the day. Even if no one running through the mall, eyes glazed as they try to figure out what gifts to buy, is even remotely thinking about Jesus, it's still a fun holiday even for those of us who don't share the faith. But December 25 is still only one day. If you want to start your celebrations in June, please, go right ahead. But if I don't share your enthusiasm for three solid months of this holiday, please ... it's not a war. Go have an eggnog, and get over yourself.