Jil McIntosh: Rude, Lewd & Tattooed

Read the label!

Whenever I'm in the grocery store, I spend a lot of time reading labels. I'm specifically looking for what's written on this one: Product of Canada.

Canadian law states that if a food product has this label on it, then "all or virtually all major ingredients, processing, and labour used to make the food product are Canadian." 

That means our farmers grew it and our processing plants processed it.

"Canada Fancy" is just a grade and doesn't refer to the food's origin.

Of course it isn't possible to do this with everything; the canned pineapple I buy certainly isn't coming out of Thunder Bay. But whenever possible, this is my go-to. Our farmers and our processors deserve our dollars.

Hey, Walmart - how about speaking English?

I say that because, instead of English, Walmart is communicating in Corporate-Speak, an unusual language developed solely for the purpose of spewing bovine feces instead of facts. Specifically, here's what a company spokesman had to say about the decision to cut 750 jobs in Canada ...

We are implementing a new management structure in our stores that will enable us to provide improved service to our customers and enhanced career opportunities for our associates.

The new management structure makes more of our associates available during peak shopping periods when our customers need us the most, and gives our associates greater access to their managers for their ongoing career development.

Hell, never mind write this stuff - I can't even translate it. But I do love that last line. Does this mean that "Let me ask my manager" is actually part of climbing the company ladder?

Apple: Designed in California, irritating me here

You've probably seen computer giant Apple's latest television and print campaign, where it brays that its products are Designed by Apple in California.

It may be new to the company, but the idea isn't new. I'm sick of seeing T-shirts, hats, bags, and other items bearing big labels reading Designed in Canada or Designed in the U.S.A. Because the part of the sentence that's missing is ... but made in whatever country we can get to do it for the least amount of money.

So it's designed in California or Canada. So what? That employs a few hundred people (and good for them, really). But it's building something that makes a community strong: employing a few thousand people, along with the people employed at the suppliers bringing in the raw materials, and the businesses that benefit when those workers spent their pay for goods and groceries.

Apple might design its products in California, where workers enjoy bright and airy workspaces, fresh food in the cafeteria, plug-in stations for their electric cars, and benefits to keep them healthy.

But where are the products built? According to varies news reports, Apple products are made by people working long hours, for very little pay, in facilities that don't follow environmental safety rules, or worker safety rules.

Designed in California isn't a positive thing. It's a company preening itself about how great the tip of the iceberg is, without mentioning how rotten it is below the surface.

Remember this: any product that comes with a label about how it's designed in is a product that's hiding something.

Fun at the big-box hardware store ...

Y'know, while I realize it must be hard to get a handle on the hundreds of thousands of individual products that the big-box stores sell, every now and again, I look for something, and end up coming out empty-handed and shaking my head ...

I have a little plant in a sit-on-the-table pot, and I have a ring in the ceiling over my kitchen window. So I thought it might be nice to repot the plant into the hanging variety, and put it in the window.

So I went to Lowe's.

Lowe's has such a wide variety of sit-on-the-table pots, it's scary. Plastic ones. Clay ones. Pots that look like rubber boots or teapots. That look like they're woven out of wicker, or made of concrete or stone, although they're all fiberglass.

But none of the hanging variety.

The store carries chains with which to hang a pot. In three different colors, and two sizes of links, along with eight different sizes of brackets to put on the wall from which to hang them. But the chains require special pots that have holes in the top lip. Guess what Lowe's doesn't sell.

After going through three clerks before finding the one I needed, I asked. "We'll have hanging pots when the outdoor garden centre opens in spring," she said.

"I want one for an indoor house plant," I said.

Blank look.

And my little spider plant sits patiently on the table, still dreaming of the day it can finally hang in space.

Walmart: Racing to the bottom

In the news today, Walmart is experimenting with a new "Scan & Go" system that would let shoppers scan items with their iPhones while shopping, and then check out at a self-serve counter.

The reason? Well, in Official Corporate Gobblespeak, it's to test "new and innovative ways to serve customers and enhance the shopping experience in our stores," according to a Walmart spokesman.

The reality? Walmart's trying to save even more money by eliminating those pesky employee wages. According to the news report, every second in transaction time in the U.S. chain costs $12 million in cashier wages.

The real reality? Walmart already sets up giant stores that put local merchants out of business. It strong-arms suppliers to produce goods for the lowest possible prices, meaning that almost nothing for sale in the store is actually made locally. In some cases, once it's wiped out other stores and manufacturers, it becomes the largest employer in the community. And now it's seeking to reduce the number of people working in its stores.

Am I the only one picturing the last person standing, walking around an empty Walmart store, because no one else in the community has a job?

The reality is that not everyone can afford higher prices, and many have to shop at these discount department stores. But c'mon, people. If you make good money, spend it where it matters. Buy Canadian products whenever you can. Support your local merchants. Sure, it'll cost you a little more. Consider it an investment in the future of your community, your country, and your children. You can't spend your money any better than that.

More on Las Vegas and coming home ...

- If I'd had a pocket full of disposable cash, I would have bought them: blue-and-black real-snakeskin cowboy boots. Yeah, I know: me, in blue-and-black real-snakeskin cowboy boots. But they were gorgeous. No, really, they were. And they were $1,550, which is why you won't see me in blue-and-black real-snakeskin cowboy boots anytime soon.

- Why is it some people are smart enough to have a job that makes enough money that they can go to Vegas, but they're still dumb as stumps? Case in point: the young man whose seat was in the middle, beside my aisle seat. That's my seat, he said, and waited for me to get up and let him in. By standing in the aisle. Right in front of my seat, so the only way I could possibly have gotten around him to let him in would have been if my waist size was 12 inches around.

- Now here's something I've never had happen before: the plane parked on the wrong side of the terminal. Which meant that when we got off, instead of being funneled to the Canadian customs room, we were simply dumped into the domestic terminal, where several people with carry-on bags just walked out of the airport before any of the authorities caught on. And since this sort of thing normally doesn't happen, nobody knew what to do. We were finally herded together, taken through the emergency exit, walked up the down staircase to the customs booths, cleared, taken back past the guards to someone who came out to collect our customs forms, and finally allowed to leave. I heard someone say the airport and Air Canada are in for a hefty fine for this breach of security.

- And finally, my jaw dropped at this one. The boy involved couldn't have been more than fourteen years old. His mother had handed him the customs form, so he could fill out and sign his portion. When he gave it back to her, she looked at it and said, "What on earth did you buy for $500?" Hey, son, I hope it at least had snakeskin on it.

Tilley Endurables: Hat heaven!

If you've never heard of Tilley Endurables, check it out. It's a Canadian clothing company known primarily for its hats, and they're very good hats, too.

They're also "guaranteed for life," according to the company. My husband has one that he just loves. We're not sure how long he's had it -- maybe 12 or 15 years -- but it's his constant companion when he's out doing yardwork. It's faded and battered, and that was fine, but the other day I noticed a large rip in the front of it.

"They say they'll replace it," I said.

Ever the cynic, he replied, "Yeah, sure they will."

Even I was skeptical, especially since I was already on a roll. Earlier this week, I'd ordered a part for my mixer from Kitchen-Aid/Whirlpool. They wrote down the wrong number and sent the wrong part. When I called to get a new one, someone told me he'd call back in 30 minutes. When I called again in 90 minutes and got someone else, she told me I was "being unreasonable" to expect a return call so quickly. Three "Whirlpool customer experience" operators later, I ordered online because no one wanted to help me. And then, later in the day, I went to get some U.S. cash from the currency exchange kiosk at the mall, and got a bubbly but very unprofessional clerk to serve me, after she was done telling some story to her co-workers about her weekend plans.

So I girded my loins, prepared for battle. Sure, the email I sent to Tilley came back saying mail us the hat and a couple of bucks for shipping, and we'll send a new one. But I still wasn't convinced. And we were going to Toronto anyway, so we stopped in the store.

My husband walked up to one of several clerks on the floor helping customers, and showed him the hole in the hat. The man led him over to the hat section and said, "We don't carry that style in that color anymore, so pick one you like, and I'll take it to the desk."

And that was what happened. Pick any hat, take it home. No exchange note, no receipt required, no forms to fill out, no need to even give them our names. The hat we sold you failed, so pick another. Would you like us to cut the tags off so you can wear it home?

I bought a couple of things while I was there, so yes, both of us came out ahead. Their stuff isn't cheap, but it's excellent quality, it lasts a long time, and almost all of it is made in Canada or the United States. (The hats are made right there at the Toronto store.) Check 'em out. It's worth what you pay for it.

Check out this site: Money matters and consumer issues

I've been reading Ellen Roseman's column in the Toronto Star for years, and only after sending her some emails did I realize she has a pretty cool website, On Your Side. She goes to bat for consumers, advises on finances, and just generally makes life easier for people. Check her out by clicking here.

Grocery shopping: Bring ALL your own bags!

I went to the grocery store today (which further cemented my belief that if you're going to walk around with your forearms draped over the shopping cart, you should have to stay in the "dawdler" aisle, away from those of us who just want to get the job done) and took my own shopping bags.

But I had an idea to take more than just those. I don't use any plastic bags when I'm buying easy-to-manage produce -- why on earth anyone needs to wrap one apple or a bunch of bananas is beyond me -- but I was filling them with items like green beans and Brussels sprouts. And then I'd come home, and transfer them from the store's plastic bag to the Zip-Loc Veggie Bags that I use in my refrigerator.

Which, when you think about it, is really dumb. So today I dropped a few Zip-Locs in my shopping bag, filled them at the store, brought them home and put them directly in the refrigerator. No single-use bag in the garbage, no time wasted transferring food from one bag to another. Hey, you two birds, come see this stone.